My oldest sister may be the first artist I’d ever known. …As kids I don’t remember her doing much else besides drawing. She could not have been more than 11 or 12 but she was brilliant. Very much a child herself, even then she drew with an advanced level of intensity and focus. …As if she were some place you could never get to. You could only wonder. She was a typical oldest sister {there is another sister between us} : She had her own room, all of her toys and “trinkets” were immaculate and in perfect condition and IN TACT. She never lost the pieces to anything. You didn’t dare ask to borrow or play with any of her things and I never dared interrupt her creative moments. She was so engaged. You had to ask the question, “Can I get in there?” I respected her unspoken boundaries and kept my distance but she could not stop me from observing. She was meeean and most times as you can imagine being the little sister, I was an inconvenience. She and my other older sister were two peas in a pod, just a year apart until one fateful day, I came along …”the surprise”, 4/5 years later after they’d solidified their own connection.
Her illustrations were not your average childs drawings with stiff, straight lines or boxy figures, no… Mostly female subjects, they had movement and flow, with cool hairstyles and a very dainty but strong quality about them. She could create proportioned bodies and profiles and shade! …She could even use pastels! Which, at the age of 11 or 12 is no small feat. Finally I could not maintain my distance any longer, temptation was too great. I had to get me some of what she got and more importantly experience that place she kept going to. I finally got the gumption to ask the big question: “…Will you teach ME how to draw???” Thankfully she didn’t eat me, chew me up and spit my remains onto the floor, but just as I thought she might, she met me with a very nonchalant, “No”. Somewhere in there I resorted to the plea but it got me nowhere and only annoyed her more. Until one day….. “The Regulator” came to my rescue: My Mama. I don’t remember whether or not I told on her or whether she overheard my sister shoot me down hard for the “umteenth time”, but her message to my sister was clear and stern “TEACH YOUR SISTER HOW TO DRAW!” As you can imagine she was not happy about the involvement of The Regulator, however to my benefit she was now forced to comply. …You NEVER challenged the regulator unless you had a death wish so begrudgingly she accommodated. …Now don’t think she went out of her way or anything, she didn’t. But she did enough I guess. So she taught me how to trace. That was how she taught herself to draw certain things. Then freehand and then I just decided I would just copy everything she did. …Again, can you spell ANNOYED? But I didn’t care. I was on a mission.
She would draw the most creative things, the coolest people and the prettiest women. My drawings were weak attempts next to hers. They never matched up and of course I expected them too. They were still the drawings of a 6 year old while hers were equivalent to the drawings of a 20 year old. Nonetheless I kept trying.
Then one day she created something that would change everything. …It was like the mother load. It elevated her to genius status and it was thee most creative thing I thought I ever bore witness to. It was the creation of, and my introduction to THE EELORK WOMEN: Beautiful shapely (but not overly) Glamazons with some serious fashion sense that arrived on spaceships from the planet Eelork. They were not jovial characters, they were stoic but pleasant and appeared content and self-assured and last but certainly not least, they had antennas! Not having the words at that age, I was in awe. Dumbfounded. ….Overcome with excitement and joy! SOLD! I was a believer and in that moment I think the confirmation switch was flipped: …This would be my new religion. I could not comprehend how she could have possibly dreamt up such a thing. Who? What? Where, where why how??? To her it was nothing. …Like it was just all in a days work. To me it was everything and unbeknownst to her she became my artistic Sheroe. …Meanness and all. I would still participate in the periodic sisterly spats and bickering, attempt to hold my own. Quiet as kept, even in retaliation mode I secretly admired her, but never would have told her that. I couldn’t really compete here either. I never won our verbal fights. She was cunning and linguistically clever for a 12 year old and knew words that gave her an advantage like …”Peon”.
My shadowing progressed. When folks would ask her what she wanted to be when she grew up she’d say, “An artist”. So naturally when folks would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I’d say, “An artist!” {of course}. I jacked the Eeorks a couple of times: Impressing my elementary school teachers with these imaginative glamazons they thought I was responsible for dreaming up. I read her diaries. …Pardon me, I STUDIED her diaries. She was a fantastic writer. Her handwriting was a like that of a professional scribe (we come from penmanship divas too ;D) and more important to me than the secrets she was telling in there? Was the way in which she told them. So plain. So “tangible” and real, like a conversation but that’s another story. Thankfully the older I got, I began to assume my own identity and took more interest in what the women in the drawings were wearing and was no longer under the influence of the Eelorks. So by fourth grade I decided I would begin my “career” as a wedding dress designer and finally stopped trying to become my sisters clone but even still it was the Eeorks that were instrumental in leading me to fashion. So I sold my fashion sketches at school: Signed, an HH Collection, w/date and time of creation thank you very much.
This month I became part of The Black Book Project: Where a collective of artists that do not know each other are broken up into groups of 3 and each group is to share one “black book”. Each artist contributes their piece and mails it to the next artist for them to do the same and so begins the rotation. The pieces can be anything: drawings, collages, three-dimensional stuff whatever you feel. The last year or two for me have been specifically about paying homage to my 9+ year old self, having some conversations with her and granting her some acknowledgement on some things. Age nine was no joke. She mapped this master plan out long before Holly-Kai did if that makes any sense. My sister??? My sister did not opt for a career in the arts. As she got older, she drew less and less. Now she’s a therapist. As an adult she is still not the warmest, most expressive or affectionate human being. Maybe that’s why Hallmark is like her best friend. …I think she’s a preferred customer or something. Once or twice in birthday cards, her handwritten messages have referenced her admiration for my determination to do my own thing. …We come from a family of supporters of art or closet artists. …People that made sure we were educated and exposed to the arts. Not people that opt to make art their bread and butter…or advocate anyone else venturing to do so for that matter, ha. So I decided to give my Black Book Project pages up to young Holly and my sister.
In my opinion there are a few sad parts to this story. One being, I don’t think she ever felt like she was as brilliant as she is and has always been. To this day, after being affected by many artistic influences, I still regard her as one of the greatest artists I’ve ever known despite the fact she hasn’t created any artwork in EONS. …That’s saying something. I think she stopped making art with the exception of decorating her photo albums after she was in her twenties. In fact, this past year, I asked her if she still had one of her Eelork drawings. I’d been thinking about documenting the process before now. I was shocked when the answer was no being that many of her keepsakes are still in a trunk in my mamas garage (as our many of our things). In fact she almost seemed surprised that I expected her to have them. I was sad. ….And two that she doesn’t realize all of this, is because of her. She was the conduit, the inspiration, the connector. …The person that introduced me and was instrumental in me falling in true, total, unhealthy, consumable love with Art via the planet Eelork and it’s inhabitants.
…Sigh. …Such is life I suppose. One moment, shapes and molds an entire life. I wonder how different the journey would have been had she not been the sister I was gifted. But perhaps for now I should revel in the fact that thankfully, I don’t have to. She IS therefore, I AM. Give thanks.
…Contemplatin’ LIFE all up in Studio5.
{And did I mention happy to be back with you again 😉 ?!
Love and beeeeeams of light (from the planet Eelork!).
h.kai
